Can't Orgasm :(

Rubbing my clit feels the same as yours. A weird uncomfortable feeling but not orgasm. I prefer rubbing it gently but touching my labia feels better.
Do you get orgasm from intercourse?

Neither have I!! Do you find its almost too sensitive?! My boyfriend rubs me and it just hurts. I cant stand it for very long, Ive become a master at faking.. Sad but true. Help!!

Well. . .

I know of one thing he could touch it with that will likely make it feel REALLY good, and it's probably something you've both overlooked: his tongue.

- Eric

Hello,

I'm sorry you have never had an orgasm. You just have to! What turns you on? Watching adult movies, looking at erotic pictures, including wet pussies with sexy labias, or just kissing and being touched? Try and relax and let yourself feel free to enjoy the moment and the tingly sensations  and wetness your pussy is producing. Try to masturbate yourself with your own hands or dildo and figure out the degree of pressure you like. Also a pulsating shower massage can be a useful tool. If your comfortable have your boyfriend give you oral sex and guide him as to what feels good. At the same time you can be playing with your nipples and spreading your lips apart exposing your pretty  clit to be sucked on. Try and allow yourself to completely feel sexy and experiment by rubbing your pussy on different objects. Don't give up because once you experience an orgasm you will never want to stop. Before you know it you will be having multiple orgasms! I wish I were there to help and show you how to do it. Best of everything to you.

Hello dark,  Have you never masturbated?  I would suggest that you try it.  The first thing that has to happen is that you have to love yourself, be proud of your body, and be confident about it all.  Play with yourself and find out what gets you excited.  Test different positions, methods, and so forth.  Once you know how to make yourself cum, you will know how to ask your b/f to please you. One thing to remember is that most women require lots of foreplay, not just a quick "wham, bam" in order to orgasm.  Give it a try and let us know how you make out?  Best wishes for the future.

Dear DarkRomantic,

I think it is time to stop worrying about that liquid as you call it and let go. Why wouldn't he enjoy that warm tasty liquid all over him?
I am sure when he arrives, he has no problem filling you with his liquid.
But, if he won't help you in reaching orgasm then perhaps he isn't as loving and caring, or understanding as you may think.

Next time your with him, and he is about to explode, simply stop. If he goes off, then there is your answer...  
Or maybe just sit him down and talk to him, or come to Brisbane and I will help (just kidding) :p

Enjoy
Adam

Hello DarkRomantic
Sorry to hear about your problem. I think the medical term for your condition is known as "Anorgasmia" or "Female orgasmic dysfunction". The psychologists refer to it as a "psychosexual dysfunction"
The literature on this problem lists many possible causes, such as stress. fear, depression, past sexual abuse or trauma, alcohol drugs etc. Have you perhaps tried to rule out any of these causes? Have you sought professional help?
You said that your hood does not completely cover your clit. Could it be that the rubbing of the exposed clit against your clothing could have caused your nerve endings to become de-sentisized over time?
Why have you ruled out an attempt at a possible G-Spot orgasm?
Seems to me that it is worth a try. Why won't you want your liquid to get all over him? Are you a squirter? And why won't your boyfriend find it sexy?  
If I was your boyfriend I would certainly want to do all in my power to help you to achieve an orgasm. I would certainly try to stimulate your G-Spot and would be happy to have you squirt on me, on my face, all over me. Which man in his right mind won't find that sexy?
Cheers
Gerry

Try oral sex, and tell him to not concentrate on the clit directly - around it or onder it.  Maybe even just sucking on the clit gently.  Tongue is much gentler than fingers - no fingernails either.

Also, you need to know what works for you before you can 'lead' your boyfriend.  Try the water running from the faucet or tap onto you clit in the bath, or try an electric toothbrush next to your clit.  Get to know you or you'll never get past first base.

I second Rod's opinion. . .

You should try a vibrator, or other things to see what feels good to you first, and then try guiding your man.

You can't really tell him what to do if you don't know what pleases you.

At the same time, you could also try replacing your man! =0)

Some men instinctively know what to do, and once you experience that first orgasm with a man, you will never want to let him go -- you'll actually look forward to sex, even oral sex specifically.

Every woman I have ever been with in my entire lifetime down to my wife has complimented me on how well I use my tongue. .maybe it's time you find a man who will use his tongue, or get your current one to go down and ride the subway. =0)

- Eric

Dear DarkRomantic,

I could be wrong but I don't think G-spot orgasms always result in squirting.  My current girlfriend frequently has multiple G-spot orgasms but has never squirted (wish she did though....).  Most women I have been with have have either been prone to clitoral OR G-spot orgasms, but not usually both.  So I definitely wouldn't rule out the G-spot yet.

J

Oral sex can be pleasurable for both parties. Your boyfriend can be really turned on by giving you oral sex.
He needs to take it SLOW!!
Start with lots of slow deep kisses, body contact and caressing.
Working his way down your neck to your breasts with kisses, little nibbles and tongue touching.  
He should not touch your nipple until he has worked his way around your breasts kissing, nibbling and tonguing. When he gets to your nipple, he just breathes on it and gently touch the tip with his tongue. Again Slowing working his way around your breasts until he finally sucks and tongues your nipple making swirls with his tongue. Put a pillow under your butt so it's easier to work with you.

Working his way down your stomach doing the same thing, kissing tonguing and nibbling he doesn't go for the hot spot yet.
He should work his way to your inner thighs, up and down both of them slowing kissing and tonguing. When you tell him it's ok to move up, let him know with a pre-arranged signal. He SLOWLY kisses your outer lips and tongues each side. If your inner Labia Lips are large he can pull them into his mouth and suck gently, moving his tongue side to side or up and down.

When your good and wet, he can stick his tongue deep into your vagina, his tongue sliding in and out, swirling around.
He should do a combination of licking your lips, sucking on them and sticking his tongue into you until he can sense you are getting really hot, or again, a pre-arranged signal.
Then he can gently move up to your clit. He doesn't need to pull the hood back, just breath on it for awhile. Then go back to your vagina for more fun.
He then goes back and forth between breathing on your clit and sucking, licking, tonguing your vagina.
If you feel comfortable enough with this, he can then tongue all around your clit, in particular above the clit itself where the hood starts or right below your clit where the two small tissue pieces are underneath. This way he doesn't actually touch your clit but you get stimulation from it. He moves his tongue side to side, slowly at first and if it feels good to you tell him a little faster. Remember YOU are in control here.  
While he's doing this, one finger is inside your vagina moving in, around and out. If he can find your G-spot so much the better. He Gently brushes his finger tip over it. Instead of a finger he can also get a small vibrator to slide into your vagina. Curved ones are designed to touch your G-spot.

Tell him what is working for you and what is not. If it doesn't work for you the first time try again, remember to relax and think erotic things.
Hopefully you will get to an orgasm!

Print this off so he can read it. It's your body, show him what works for you.

D.R.,
my wife has times that her clit is overly and i mean O>V>E>R>L>Y senitive. We have found that once she is well lubricated i can use her lips in contact with her clit, rather than my rough, calised fingers to jack her off. when that is still too much lots of tounge.
best of luck too you.
The Squid

Oh, bless your heart!  I know exactly what you are talking about.  Self-exploration and masturbation will definitely help.  I recommend putting some soft piece of fabric over your clit (while you are alone) and then rubbing it gently.  Make sure you are breathing (this will help you relax so maybe an orgasm WILL be possible).  Also, the focus does not have to be only on your clit.  There's lots more to play with down there.  When I was younger my clit was super sensitive to the touch, but with time and gentle practice it got better and better.  Now that my clit is nice and primed and my confidence about my larger labia is in full swing my orgasms are better than ever.  

And on another note--find a man who will appreciate your pussy even if it does squirt.  You have to be comfortable with your partner and whatever unexpected things might happen in the moment for it to feel as good as I know it can!  Good luck, sweetheart!

BornAgain

Romantic,

There have been many great suggestions here and all should be considered, I just want to add my 2 cents.

It sounds like there are a number of things at work here that need to be identified and dealt with individually, but I'm only going to hit on the two that really hit me.  

First, it sounds like you have a hypersensitive clitoris, you may want to try staying away from it, only stimulate AROUND it, not on it. There are also products that can be found that have a numbing affect. Analease for one, it sounds stupid, but one of the affects it has is that it numbs the area applied to. Or if you're still too sensitive with that, Orajel can be used very sparingly, to numb the clit. once you've been desensitized a little, you may be able to enjoy clitoral stimulation.

Second, your reference to your ejaculate as "that liquid". This sounds a lot like a sexual hang up to me and may be interfereing with your ability to enjoy sex. Getting "that liquid" on us is a huge turn on for many men, and it's something that I'd have a hard time giving up. I understand that it makes a mess. That's the reason for the huge stack of towells that I keep next to my bed. Just lay them out I suggest many layers, and put them in the laundry afterwards.

Take the advice or not, all the recommendations in this thread are good ones and should at least be considered.

XOXO t_d

Well there's one thing that no one gets... it DOESN'T FEEL GOOD when ANYTHING touches my clit. Of course I've tried masterbating. And it felt BAD. Going around or under the clit isn't going to cause me to orgasm...

And the problem is, my boyfriend won't go down on me. And whenever he did, it SUCKED (no pun intended). All he'd do is lick the area between my clit and my vagina. I told him a THOUSAND times to do something different, I told him what feels good and what doesn't, and he never ever listened to me. Lately, he doesn't even TOUCH me. He just strips me down, kisses me a bit and gets right to sex. Whenever I told him MORE FOREPLAY PLEASE he never listened. He thinks it's cool for me to suck his cock constantly but he won't do a thing for me.

What the fuck do I do? PLEASE HELP :( I feel extremely sexually deprived and really ugly :( And he always tells me I'm beautiful, I'm cute, bla bla bla.

We're in love and he's the sweetest person ever but he is the absolute worst at anything sexual.

Ok he sounds like a jerk. I seriously think you should leave him. That is just my personal opinion. I was having a problem similar to you when my boyfriend just wanted to have get right to sex. Although after I talked to him he did a lot to make it better for me.  

That is the way it should be and if he cannot do that for you then you can find someone so much better.

Hey now, you can not just assume he is a jerk and that she should dump him. Maybe he just doesn't get it? Maybe he feels that he can not pleasure you that way so he feels insecure about it. My boyfriend does not go down on me a lot and I  admit he is not the greatest. He will stop and just assume I'm done way before I am and by that point I just pretend that I came and am satisfied to avoid hurting his feelings because, well I fake a lot of things. Some guy's are just sexually retarded.  

I suggest you go on strike. Tell him if he wants head he has to earn it or return the favor. I mean your lovin aint free! :P When me and my latest boyfriend started dating (second serious relationship I've been in) he would not go down on me or touch me or play with me. But he would try and push my head down to give him head when we were getting intimate. I would stop and tell him straight up, that is something you earn. He did not get it at first so I basically had to spell it out for him. (sometimes the pretty ones are not always the smartest) :)

Romantic and Shawna,  

It is my firm opinion that ANY man who doesn't go down on his woman on at least as often as she'd like him to, and care enough to try to learn what feels good to her is not much of a man, and is probably more interested in something else that her pussy.

And I'm very sorry to read about the apparent lack of interest that your man is showing to your pleasure Romantic, I agree completely with Cutie, I think there's a better place for him on the curb than in your bed.

Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

t_d

Im not sure if they may be the problem, but when i touch my clit outside of the hood i get that feeling likes its to sensitive. So maybe try rubbing like right above it with actually touching the head of the clit. Hopefully this may work for you, and if you get really horny before playing with it, it should help. Well anyways try that and just relax cause not having orgasms  can be mental to. =)

Wow,

I agree with Tempest. . .

You ladies have no idea what you're missing, and I think you either need to be more firm with your guys about going down on you for 2 reasons. . .

I know Shawna was sympathetic, since she's had the same problem. . .

BUT in the end you ladies need to do one of the following:

1) Tell your guy he ain't gonna get no head unless he gives you head -- PERIOD.

I think it's ironic, because with me, I'm the complete opposite -- my wife loves to get her pussy licked by me, and she loves to give me head too, but I'd prefer to have her pussy wrapped around my dick instead of her mouth.  But sometimes, she just does it so well, I can't resist!

2) I hate to advocate breaking things off with a significant other, but if you're man ain't gonna do it no matter what, then maybe you should find someone who will.  And trust me, when you do, you'll wonder why you ever bothered with the last guy in the first place, and I speak from experience when I say that.  I've had many a woman in my "man-whore" days, and the most frequent response I got after eating a chick's pussy really good was: "My man doesn't make me cum like that." -- trust me, if you care about these guys, you'd better get them in check with this, because if you ever make the mistake (or maybe it isn't a mistake) to find someone who will eat your pussy right OUTSIDE of your current relationship, you will not know what to do with yourself.

For our original poster. . .

You should try to let him just press his tongue against your clit (without moving) for a few seconds. . .that might help killing the sensitivity of it a bit -- and may allow him to move slowly, and work you up into a good, and nice orgasm.  My wife is usually sensitive as hell too if I dive right in, but after awhile, she gets into it, and eventually cums -- multiple times too, and will squirt if it's really, really good.

To be honest, I'm sensitive as hell too if she starts playing with the head of my cock with no action beforehand. . .so imagine it in that way.

Let him press his tongue against your clit, and maybe lick his fingers and then use them to play with your nipples. . .eventually his tongue will start to feel good against your clit even if not immediately.

Could be his tongue is too rough too -- like a cat's tongue maybe.

Does he smoke??

You could try having him put some ice cream or something on his tongue beforehand if that's the case. . .or maybe let him lick around the area until you get nice and wet, and then use your own wetness as a barrier on his tongue while he licks you.

There are so many ways to get 'er done (no pun intended). . .

Let me know if you have any success.

- Eric

Dark Romantic,  

the whole problem here is that you dont masturbate enough.  If you dont know how to please yourself you are going to be terrible in bed, and have alot of trouble getting off.  In addition, you wont know how to coach your man in how to please you.  Why are some women so clueless about their bodies, nobody has to tell a man to wack off more.  I dont like it when a woman touches me the wrong way,  because I know exactly what I want and how I want to be touched through experience touching myself, so when Im with a women I tell her exactly how to please me.  You can do the same with yourself and with your next man.  If you want lessons, I can help you, LOL.

Dear DarkRomantic,

I am an older woman and I have found out that bathtub masturbation is the sweetest treat. Set the water temperature to your liking and scoot underneath the generous uninhibited water pressure. Legs should be in the gynecological style using corners of tub to rest feet. Scoot close and let the fun begin. You may want heavy water flow or not so heavy. Either way, you will be gratified immensely. It feels WONDERFUL!!!