The first sexual experience you have will be a big deal, and honestly
if you are mostly concerned that your labia will freak him
out---well, if that's your biggest concern, you have no inkling of
the emotional tidal wave that is likely coming your way. The
guy who thinks you are not ready for sex? He may just be worried that
you'll--horror upon horror!---really fall for him, because you just
lost your virginity to him, and you'll want to be his girlfriend,
long-term and outside the bedroom.
Really, most any guy in
his teens or twenties will do it with most any girl, large labia or
not, virgin or not, babe or not, doesn't matter. Guys really have it
good these days--lots of easy sex that requires very little, if
anything, from him (respect, caring, commitment, effort, etc).
Here's an idea--why don't you start a relationship outside of the
bedroom first, then later, move to the sexual stage, instead of
"semi-dating" someone, moving quickly to sex, and worrying what they
will think. If you get into a real relationship with a guy
before sleeping with or fooling around with him, you will not have to
worry what he thinks, because it will be clear that he really cares
about you the person (and you are more than just your sex organs and
your sexuality!), not just how soon he can get in your pants and what
he might find there.
So what if you are a virgin at 19! Who
gives a damn what anyone else might think. I repeat--who gives a damn
what anyone else thinks! Don't lose it unless you really want to, in
the best situation (patience!) you can find. Try to think with a
long-term perspective on this. You will never have a 2nd chance
to rewrite this experience. I'll bet that many of your friends regret
the circumstances of their first time--but they won't admit it (maybe
not even to themselves just yet).
Michael, brother to 3
sisters, friend to many female friends
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